Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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