Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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