When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
