We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
