My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
