That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize