I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i barfeds in our rink
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
