Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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