I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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