There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
