Dual....:-)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
