Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
