It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
