somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
