It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
