well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
