we're chasing vodka with high fives
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize