Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
do herpes really smell.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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