Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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