Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
