what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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