He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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