why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
