Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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