haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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