you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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