"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
