please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
