After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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