VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
God, I missed his penis.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
