I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
