I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Houston, we have a squirter
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize