even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
