I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
