That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
