You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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