where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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