im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
