someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
