Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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