Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
