I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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