Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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