Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
