We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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