So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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