i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
