Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
