I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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