I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
