This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
