Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
wow bdsm is so cute
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
