I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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