He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
