the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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