so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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