i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
