i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
