Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
